from “Open Letter to the Tiny White Man that the Republican Party Has Sent to Live in My Underpants” by Kari Anne Roy (contributor to FAKES: An Anthology of Pseudo-Interviews, Faux-Lectures, Quasi-Letters, “Found” Texts, and Other Fraudulent Artifacts,forthcoming in September from Norton):
Dear Tiny White Man In My Underpants,
Hey! How’s it going today? My guess is: verging on ovulation, potentially cyst-y. Ha! No seriously, I’m sorry about the bloating. I know that makes the waistband on my underpants tighter than usual, thus restricting your movement, and I apologize for that. It has to be difficult to get a desk and a lamp and a humidity-resistant Windows machine in there already, without the extra pooch. It’s just that sometimes a girl has to eat a bag of salt n’ vinegar chips entirely on her own, you know? I’m sure you do, because you know everything about girls, and the quirks and intricacies of our ladyparts.
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I…I love this text-image pairing.
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